What was that thing mom always said, about roughhousing shirtless on a bare mattress at the top of the stairs? It wasn’t “definitely do that”, was it? Because I kind of feel like it was.

Oh well. Hey, let’s try the thing where you help me do a backflip, and then I bounce up off of my feet in your general direction, crouched over, with a ton of momentum. Only this time, and bear with me on this, I would prefer to skip the groin headbutt if possible. Look, nothing against your groin, I would just prefer not to do the groin headbutt, which would require that my head slam into your groin with a certain amount of velocity that, frankly, makes me uncomfortable. Okay, let’s stop arguing and just do it. Ready? Here we go.

Groin headbutt. Dang it!