D’Angelo, look out! The world’s best basketball player, most famous Ohioan (and burgeoning funnyman) LeBron James is winding up for a strong overhead pass, and you’re right in the way! More specifically, your wiener, protected only by the thinnest artificial sweat-wicking fabric, is within the line of fire! Get outta there, man!
He may not be the most mature point guard in the league right now, but the 19-year-old Russell is more than mature enough to feel it when his boys get dunked on by a regulation NBA basketball. Professional athletes may be known to appreciate fine jewelry, but trust us when we say that there’s nothing more precious to them than the family jewels. No word yet on D’Angelo’s exact injury status, but hopefully his youthfulness will be able to keep him and his wiener out of the operating room.Get your balls in the game! Donate to the Sean Kimerling Foundation to win the battle against testicular cancer.