Ball-related crime is our least favorite thing to write about on this site. Your testicles are precious jewels and need to be treated with the utmost respect and care. So when we see a story about a deviant delivery driver getting busted for dipping his ballsack in a customer’s salsa, it really grinds our gears.
“Howard Matthew ‘Matt’ Webb, 31, Tuckaleechee Pike, is being held in the Blount County Jail in lieu of $45,000 bond pending a 9 a.m. hearing today in Blount County General Sessions Court,” says the report. Apparently Webb had previous interactions with a delivery customer who had a reputation for low tipping. As an act of revenge, before the Dinner Delivered driver brought her latest meal he dipped his gonads in her salsa and filmed it for Facebook.
Straight up: if you’re going to do something nasty like that, don’t post it to social media. You’re not slick, buddy, and it wasn’t long before the video made its way back to the restaurant and the delivery service. The customer had their order refunded and Webb was taken into custody on felony charges. Keep them in your pants, no matter how bad a tipper your customer is.
Read more at Busted Coverage.Get your balls in the game! Donate to the Sean Kimerling Foundation to win the battle against testicular cancer.