PSA: Please stop fucking with dogs, everyone. No, they can’t actually be awarded Purple Hearts, and they’ll probably never evolve out of eating puke and rubbing their butts on stuff, but they’re still really good animals! Think of all the animals worse than dogs: there are those huge land crabs that eat trash, there are spiders that eat birds, there are cats. Even a shitty dog is better than than stuff! If you have a dog, you are lucky. You could have a damn land crab.

So when you’re playing with your dog, maybe check that he’s actually having fun? Otherwise you’re just being a jerk. And if your dog punches you in the boys while you’re being a jerk, then you have no sympathy from us. Dogs rule.