Are You Hanging Your Truck Nuts All Wrong?

Truck Nuts

When you think about ball-related items, one of the first that comes to mind are Truck Nuts, the plastic gonads that hang under your license plate to make your ride even manlier. But a recent post at Jalopnik questions whether people are deploying the imitation gonads the right way.

Bear with us here, because this is exactly the kind of insane question the Internet was made to handle. The writer challenges the idea that the testicles of a truck would hang under the license plate and rear bumper. If you were to extrapolate mammalian anatomy onto a truck, that back bumper would be the equivalent of your tailbone and asscheeks. Having balls hang down under your cheeks is patently absurd. So that’s right out.

With that in mind, where should Truck Nuts be ideally hung? The article says the middle of the rear axle by the differential, which roughly corresponds to the trunk of the two lower limbs. Unfortunately, if you put them there they aren’t visible to other drivers, which is kind of the whole point of fake balls on your truck.

What’s your take on this Truck Nuts controversy? Does it really matter where artificial scrotums are placed on your truck, in the long run, or is this a problem that needs to be solved by the law? And have you ever seen a pair of these things in the wild? Sound off in the comments.