In AFC Title Game Sack Fest, Von Miller Wasn’t The Crotch Guy

Which member of the Denver Broncos tenacious defense is willing to go down in history as the Tom Brady Face Crotch Guy? It isn’t Von Miller, that’s for sure. According to the NY Daily News, Miller told the press on Wednesday, “It wasn’t me.” What exactly wasn’t Miller, you ask?

Well, according to an earlier story from Peter King’s MMQB, an anonymous Bronco defender is reported to have said about Patriots QB Tom Brady, “I tried to lay on him a few times. I tried to rub my nuts on his face.”

Miller maintains the crotch bandit was someone else, despite his 2.5 sacks of Brady (the most in the game). “If it was me, I would have said it,” Miller told reporters. Of course, in a league that hands out fines like candy on Halloween, it’s hard to imagine Miller stepping forward in any case. Though it’s equally difficult to believe that someone would go through the trouble of “teabagging” arguably the game’s best player in the first place. What would be the point? MMQB’s Robert Klemko speculates:

Embarrassment. In the end, that’s what this was about. It was about setting flame to the notion that Tom Brady gets the ball out of his hands so quickly it’s impossible to get hands on him.

It doesn’t seem to us that the guy “try[ing] to rub [his] nuts on [Brady’s] face” is all that interested in setting flame to any notion. But this mystery doesn’t seem likely to be cracked any time soon. Good luck to Peter King and his crew on uncovering the identity of the Crotch Guy.

The Super Bowl is three days away.