Julius Randle Has Big Balls, He Would Like You To Know

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Sports are incredible. In one sense, they can be violent, corrupt and depressing. (And that’s just soccer!) In another, sports can bring people together unlike anything else in the world. The competitive spirit, the triumphant athleticism, and the spectacle of humanity at its physical peak combine to create a phenomenon that we have been unable or unwilling to turn away from since more or less the beginning of time, and that trend does not seem to be abating anytime soon.

So we like sports. We also, as Americans, like capitalism (or have it foisted upon us at least), and sports are nothing if not capitalist. Athletic leagues and conferences in general, and the NBA, in particular, are zero-sum games: there will always be the haves and the have-nots. The LA Lakers spent much of their history as “haves”, but for the time being, toiling under the auspices of Kobe Bryant’s albatross of an ultimate contract and the sheer inertia of generational greatness, they are inarguably “have-nots”. This condition is irrespective of Julius Randle’s big balls, which have to this point earned the Lakers a pitiable 16 victories.

This predicament makes you wonder why Randle bothers to have big balls at all. When combined with the fact that the Lakers will only earn their mortgaged 2016 1st round NBA draft pick (and with it, the only affordable, market-efficient way to improve their lot) if they are among the 3 worst teams in the NBA, the Lakers’ forgettable 2016 season would seem to provide relatively few opportunities for celebration.

But whatever. Julius Randle is rich! Capitalism, baby.