Kimbo Slice To Opponent: “You’ve Got Baby Nuts”

If you’ve been paying any attention at all to the media coverage of tonight’s Bellator MMA, you could be forgiven for thinking that Kimbo Slice vs. Dada 5000 was the main event. It isn’t. That distinction instead goes to Ken Shamrock vs. Royce Gracie.

But Shamrock and Gracie are much smaller men, both in volume and, well, volume. They’re the two quiet, old guys who sat back and laughed as the two boisterous, pseudonymous heavyweights berated each other at the pre-fight press conference yesterday. The verbal jabs took the usual tone until the topic of testicle size was broached. “You’ve got baby nuts!” Slice taunted, which seems unlikely. Dada 5000 seemed to concur, but the men were calmed before they were able to compare and contrast relative sizes on the stage.

Studies suggest that testicle growth is stagnant until puberty around age 11, but “You’ve got 10 year old nuts!” admittedly does not pack as much punch.