Loaded Cheese Stuffed Mashed Potato Balls Are Not Food

The ancient study of alchemy was a failure, in that it never succeeded in transforming ordinary matter into gold or creating a universal cure for all disease. On the other hand, it was essentially the precursor to modern chemistry and paved the way for science as we know it today. So that’s pretty good.

After watching this recipe video from BuzzFeed (where else?), you’d be forgiven for thinking alchemy was alive and well. The cook, or wizard you might say, wordlessly takes perfectly edible foodstuffs — potatoes, cheese, an egg, and turns them into a terrifying twice-cooked amalgam known to the world as “Loaded Cheese Stuffed Mashed Potato Balls”.

Why are there so many ingredients? Why do you need a whole cube of cheese in these things? Why would you fry and then bake them? So many questions, and so few answers (none). The info says these mashed potato balls are for folks who “thought you couldn’t eat mashed potatoes on the go!”, which is no one on Earth. No one has ever thought about mashed potatoes on the go.

This recipe is for no one.