New Nut Flavors Will Not Save The Tired, Busted M&M

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There’s a right way–and a wrong way— to eat M&Ms. If you do it the right way, the flavor of candy-coated chocolate mixes with the butter and salt of the popcorn to create a tangy contrast that’s so good it almost distracts you from how bad My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 is. If you do it the wrong way, you have to go on Jimmy Fallon and explain your bizarre actions while wearing the world’s most uncomfortable-looking suit. The choice here is obvious.

By contrast, there’s not a lot of fallout waiting for the desperate executive who sees candy and snack sales flagging and decides to juice the bottom line by inventing nut flavors in the treat lab. What’s the worst that could happen to him? A few pallets of unsold candy in a warehouse somewhere? That sounds like the plot to a 90s movie for kids, not an overly-ambitious executive’s comeuppance. Almond’s been done, and walnuts are too big, so what’s left?

nut flavors

Made up crap, that’s what.

image via Kotaku’s “Snacktaku” Review