Raw Nuts Vs. Cooked Potatoes: The Real Super Bowl

Look, everyone metabolizes their food differently, and “healthy” means different things to different people, but man. Why is it that vegan gurus and raw food evangelists always, without exception, look exactly like this dude? How come there isn’t one broad-shouldered, ripped-abs-having athlete who goes on YouTube to advocate for eating raw nuts and tropical fruits? Maybe because it’s kind of weird and not that healthy to do? Just a thought.

The last time we featured a self-appointed food genius here, the game seemed to be advising peopleĀ against eating nuts (and seeds), and the payoff was thousands of dollars in fees for week-long detoxifications. This guy’s deal is harder to figure out, but he seems to like the sound of his own voice.

Yes, tropical fruit would be great, and eating “raw meat” is, indeed, “suboptimal” in many cases. That’s why we created fire! Come on, guys. Just cook the food. You can still eat raw nuts. When you go to a bar.