Sad, Dumb Storks Try To Hatch Golf Balls

The speculation surrounding these poor, dumbass idiot birds is that, after losing a battle with a stronger, fiercer pairĀ of storks, they were chased off of their eggs and nest. As a result, they are living every 60 year old man’s dream: making a home on the golf course.

Nesting on the 9th fairway would be stupid enough, but these birds had to go and up the ante by trying to hatch 17 loose golf balls. Two wrongs don’t make a right, storks! Those golf balls belong to someone else. Also, you can’t hatch golf balls…because you are birds and golf balls are not eggs. They don’t even look that much like eggs. Dummies.

To make up for the imminent disappointment, some course members have pitched in to donate a real stork egg (Germany has these just laying around, apparently) to the nest. The course owners have even committed to building a custom home for the storks that will allow them to nest off the ground. It will also probably attract more storks, which will try to hatch golf balls of their own.

It’s the circle of life.