Skateboarding Bulldog Sets Crotch Record

As one candle sadly goes out, the torch is passed to another skateboarding dog. (What is it about the regal bulldog that makes it so adept at skateboarding? The world may never know.) What we do know is that the human crotch may never be the same, after Otto the Skateboarding Bulldog pulled off the unthinkable earlier this month in Lima, Peru.

30 humans stood in his way, each crotch a link in a daunting tunnel of achievement — one that Otto tore straight through like it was made of imitation bacon flavoring, on his way to setting a new Guinness World Record for longest something or other. Otto the Skateboarding Bulldog – King of our hearts, King of the crotch. Long may he reign.