Teach Yourself Monkey Steals The Peach


If you’re an aficionado of martial arts, you may be familiar with Ashida Kim’s legendary tome Ninja Mind Control, a ludicrous handbook of martial arts maneuvers that may or may not get you killed. Kim, born Radford Dante, claims to have been trained by a society of ninjitsu masters that stretches back to the Lost Continent of Atlantis, so I’d take his advice with a grain of salt.

One of the most notorious moves in Ninja Mind Control is “Monkey Steals The Peach,” an upward groin strike that, delivered with sufficient force and precision, can stop the heart of an opponent or open the way for an iron-clawed removal of the testicles. Sound good? Here are the two pages that illustrate the technique.