The Elusive, Domesticated Serpent À Groin Is Majestic, Powerful

Don’t worry! Or, at least, don’t worry any more than you would normally worry when finding out about a snake, because that’s all the serpent à groin is. Although it is considered to be venomous, and to an untrained eye can look very similar to a rattlesnake. So maybe you should worry a little bit!

What the serpent à groin isn’t, however, is a wild and bloodthirsty animal hellbent on making sure that your testicles come into contact with its teeth. Those things do, unfortunately, exist out there in the wide world. In this case, though, “groin” simply refers to snout, because French is a language that makes even less sense than our own.

Instead of shaking with fear at the mere thought of this slimy creature, try to appreciate and marvel at its highly specialized anatomy and behavior. Do it to some oddly epic music accompaniment, if possible.

And don’t open the cage doors. Thank you.