“Balls, Balls, Balls” by Sloover Not Exactly a Christmas Staple

"balls, balls, balls"

Ah, Christmas. The time of year we set aside for family, togetherness, and giving—the magical season of flying sleighs and snowmen come to life. There are so many wonderful traditions we enjoy in December, some of which originate thousands of years in our past, and all of our interesting little customs are ripe for anthropologic study. Of course, some of these customs are a good deal more secular and more recent than others, but what they say about us as a society is interesting all the same. Take, for instance, the cultural capital imbued upon the music we enjoy around the holidays.

It’s difficult to imagine walking into a place of business after Thanksgiving only to hear the normal, everyday radio. There’s something about the fourth Friday in November that compels shop owners everywhere to crank the knob to the “Christmas Classics” station and break it right the hell off. There’s a capitalist incentive at work, of course, in finding the songs that induce positive feelings in one’s customer base. The key to that, though, is that the songs have to actually be good.

“Balls, Balls, Balls” is, well, it is definitely a song. You gotta give it that. But, if this review from the Washington City Paper’s “The Sleigher” blog is any indication, it won’t be replacing “Frosty the Snowman” any time soon:

Like most of Xmas N’at, the pine-needle-coated “Balls, Balls, Balls” is barely competent, and as far as scrotal double-entendres go, it bounces clumsily through territory that AC/DC claimed elegantly decades ago. Nonetheless, “Balls, Balls, Balls” is an abrasively effective earworm[…]

“Don’t break my balls, just put ’em on that tree”, Sloover croons, perhaps predicting the critical reaction to “Balls, Balls, Balls” years in advance. Give it a listen for yourself and see if you agree that Xmas N’at doesn’t deserve a place in the Christmas rotation.