Why Does Chris Paul Keep Doling Out Crotch Punches?

It’s hard to remember Chris Paul as the frustrated but supremely talented superstar on a failing team in a midsize market-the player he was on the New Orleans Hornets. Hell, it’s getting hard at this point to remember the New Orleans Hornets. Go ahead, go look at the Wikipedia page. The NO Hornets are literally a footnote. And, come on, NO Hornets? Feels kind of Twilight Zoneish, doesn’t it? Were they ever real?

Yes! They were real, and Chris Paul played for them, and then got traded and untraded and traded again. It was a big mess. That botched deal was one of the shadier things David Stern managed to pull off in his entire storied tenure as NBA Commissioner, a job which practically has the description of “do a bunch of shady things”. It seemed like a total injustice at the time, and maybe it was.

But who cares?! The Lakers have stunk for years, which is obviously a treat for non-Laker fans, and while the Clippers surge temporarily carried with it the tide of the fabulously racist Donald Sterling, they have both been unhitched from that trainwreck of an owner and allowed to slide back into mediocrity. It’s a classic win-win. At the same time, Chris Paul has gone from an upstart little Nashian scamp to a slinky crybaby of the highest order. The guy is doling out crotch punches like they’re going out of style, which they should be.

Neither of these teams will matter in a few weeks, though, and maybe Chris Paul knows it. Kevin Durant sure does.