Dwight Howard Prefers Sticky Balls, Because He Is Dumb

Dwight Howard might just be the most hated man in the NBA…if his teams were ever good enough to inspire any kind of jealousy in his opponents. Instead, he’s just the most annoying—a guy who is remembered by teammates for his “farting ability” despite having every conceivable physical advantage this side of massive horns on his head. And sticky balls.

Well, this weekend, his nonsensical antics caught up with him just a little bit. Down 2 in the first quarter in Atlanta, with Hawks Forward Paul Millsap on the charity stripe, Howard reached out to grab the ball from the referee for literally no reason. This would normally just be irritating, a player disrupting the flow of the game well into the start of play, miming a quality control check of the ball as if that were a funny thing to think about at any point for any reason. But of course, in Howard’s case, this benign act quickly devolved into a comedy of errors featuring whom else but Howard himself?

Come to find out, Howard was (and has been for an indeterminate length of time) using a “Stickum”-like substance to assist him in gripping the ball. That may seem like a selfish and unnecessary risk, especially for a multiple all-star of nearly 7 feet to take, who must have hands like fishing nets, but when you consider that the 35-35 Rockets lost by 12 points, well…

That’s exactly what it was. But hey, sticky balls! Yuk yuk!