NFL Prospect Yanks His Dang Pud Out In The Middle Of A Drill

The NFL Combine: the field upon which thousands of young men have their futures sorted and decided. Indeed, the Combine is the draft before the draft, where the prospects wear tracksuits instead of designer ones, and where their stocks ebb and flow based on such trivial measurements as their hand size or Wonderlic score. It’s a momentous day that happens more or less outside of the public eye, having for years solely been the territory of team scouts and, later, the bored underemployed trying to justify their costly NFL Network subscriptions.

The fact that his 40 yard dash was not seen live by too many people is presumably of little comfort to Mississippi State defensive lineman Chris Jones, whose errant pud has now been ogled in slow motion by millions.

“My dick came out!” you can hear him sheepishly utter to a trainer after his timely stumble.

It sure did, Chris. It sure did.

Jones is considered a top-20 prospect at his position, but his 40 time did him no favors. His 5.05 second dash is a full half-second slower than the top defensive linemen in the draft, and presumably their damn ding dongs didn’t betray them in horrifying fashion.

Jones will have to hope that his bench press workout will supersede memories of his 40 yard dash in the minds of top scouts. For that to happen, he may very well need to pull his pants all the way down.