“Talking Testicles”: A Guide to Self-Exams

No, “Talking Testicles” is not another godawful Kirstie Alley vehicle—it’s actually something useful and worth watching. The ad comes from Cahonas Scotland, a charity (like the Sean Kimerling Foundation) intent on raising money for testicular cancer awareness. Although Cahonas uses unfamiliar words like “Males Cancers” and “bollocks”, their hearts are in the right place—in your pants.

As always, we remind men to do frequent self-exams, ideally on a monthly basis, and preferably after a warm bath or shower. You don’t want to be dealing with shrinkage when feeling around for lumps. Here’s the short guide that we recommend, which is very similar to the “Talking Testicles” version in the video.

  • Gently examine each testicle one at a time with both hands.
  • Place your index and middle fingers under the testicle and your thumbs on top.
  • Gently roll the testicle between your thumbs and fingers.
  • Feel for any small, hard lumps on the testicle.
  • Repeat the process with the other testicle.

Mind the bollocks, folks! And talk to your doctor if you find any irregularities.