What The Hell Is A Secret Testicle Run?

This video, “Secret Testicle Runs”, from GardenCitySessions, is essentially a primer in how to not make a YouTube video. It’s worth enumerating their biggest transgressions, but it is also worth watching the video they did manage to produce, because it’ll make your gut jump into your throat. That being said, here’s where they whiffed:

  • The Drake track they used, basically in its entirety, is not only used in violation of copyright law, but is altered in a way that both subverts YouTube’s automatic IP detection algorithm and makes the song appreciably worse. Plus, it is a clearly personal song, with a very specific audience in mind…attaching it to a skateboarding video is kind of weird.
  • They’re skateboarding on a damn public road!
  • To reiterate: they’re on a public road, with cars on it! Holy shit, guys, that is an unnecessary risk.
  • No one wears any padding outside of the odd helmet or two. Helmets are great, but how about some knee pads as you’re open-wheel riding at 20 mph?
  • At no point are we clued into what a “testicle run” is, much less a “secret testicle run”. This is an important part of appealing to people outside your immediate fan base. Marketing 101, fellas!

With just a few thousand tweaks or so, this would be a solid vid! Keep at it, gang. On private roads, that is. And with kneepads.